


Focus On My Voice

by lapidots



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Autism, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jasper Redemption (Steven Universe), Jasper is autistic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, jasper has a meltdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapidots/pseuds/lapidots
Summary: Pearl's face is so concerned, and patient and full of love and it's overwhelming. Jasper can't put into words how grateful she is to Pearl for staying with her, for never rushing her or mocking her, and even going out of her way to put blankets over the windows to block out the light.
Relationships: Jasper/Pearl (Steven Universe)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 43





	Focus On My Voice

Jasper, hyperventilating, runs through little homeworld, her mind distantly registering the sound of tree branches snapping under her.

She runs into her house, and darts to the floor, her hands shaking. Even from within the safety of her new home, she can still hear the bustling of little homeworld right outside, and the sunshine pouring into the house as well as her jumbled up, anxious thoughts completely overwhelm her. 

Stop being ridiculous, she tells herself, you knew you were going to bump into her eventually. What sort of quartz soldier is scared of a flimsy little Lapis Lazuli? maybe you really are defective, not just on the outside, but on the inside too.

Jasper's breathing speeds up, and she scrunches her face up and puts it to her knees, without realising that her entire body is rocking back and fourth with the power of her sobs. She doesn't know how long she spends on the ground rocking herself, and she doesn't even notice that she'd began to pull on her horns at the top of her head.

After an unidentifiable amount of time, she distantly recognises a calm and familiar voice from above her. 

"Jasper, what happened? Is there anything i can do?"

Jasper can automatically tell that it's Pearl, but she can't bring herself to open her eyes or stop yanking on her horns. She hears Pearl shuffling about, and then finally sitting beside her. "Jasper, everything's okay. can you focus on my voice?" Pearl's calming voice says, a few minutes after. Jasper struggles to and Pearl doesn't mind in the slightest and just continues talking to her in a soothing tone, and keeps reassuring Jasper that she's okay and she can take as much time as she needs. 

After a few minutes of listening to Pearl, Jasper begins to feel her sobs slow. Pearl keeps talking to her, making sure that her voice isn't too loud as to overwhelm her or too quiet so that she cannot hear it. Jasper finally, stops crying, and although still shaking, she manages to open her eyes and lift her head.

She tries to prepare herself for the brightness of the room before she opens her eyes, but once they are open she sees that pearl has draped blankets over the windows and the entire house is cloaked in shade. Jasper turns to look at Pearl, and almost resumes her sobbing.

Pearl's face is so concerned, and patient and full of love and it's overwhelming. Jasper can't put into words how grateful she is to Pearl for staying with her, for never rushing her or mocking her, and even going out of her way to put blankets over the windows to block out the light. 

Jasper can only just barely manage a "I love you. Thanks" before her voice cracks. 

"Is there anything else I can do? Would you like to talk about what happened?" Pearl asks, and Jasper can't believe she's so lucky as to have such an incredible gem in her life. 

Jasper sighs deeply, and she can't look Pearl in the eyes when she says "I..I bumped into Lapis". Jasper keeps her eyes on the floor, but can't mistake Pearl's intake of breath. Pearl begins to open her mouth to speak, but Jasper beats her to it, "but I- I..don't want to talk about it", Jasper looks up and meets Pearl's worried glance, "If... that's okay". 

Pearl smiles sadly, "Of course that's okay Jasper. We can talk about it whenever you're ready. Can I-" pearl stops herself and jasper looks at her quizzically. "Would you like me to cuddle you?" Jasper feels like she might explode from the love that she feels for Pearl and she can only nod.

Pearl moves closer to Jasper and snuggles into her side, playing with her long hair. They sit there for a long time, enjoying each others company and Jasper still can't believe how ridiculously lucky she is to be loved by Pearl.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry i havent posted in so long I've been so busy!! I'm not entirely sure how i feel about this, because this is one of the first times I've tried writing dialogue.
> 
> If you have any constructive criticism on how i can improve my writing, i'd love to hear it!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
